Thoughts

Normally, when I post, I think of specific things that happened or particular events that represent the work I do. This week has been a great week but there aren't any events that have marked this week for me. Instead, I have been running through some different things in my mind about life, and my existence.

I can't speak for everyone, but I know I was designed for greatness. Not to say that everyone was not designed for greatness; I think most people just don't know that God made them that way. Before I moved to Texas, I was finishing up with my degree. Though everyday I learned something, I would always tell other people "this isn't it for me" or "so much more can be done."

I accepted Christ my junior year of high school. I never really had any dreams other than to play sports. I cared very little about academics, people, or the "American Dream", though I'm still not sure what that is all about. I never had a desire to work a routine job or anything like that, I just went with the flow of things. I made my own decisions, but come as it may.

Since then, I've matured quite a bit, and have a better perspective than I did as a junior in high school. I view the world much differently, but the more I learn and see and do, the more I am less content with what is being done. It's easy to sit an watch what is happening around me. There are times when I watch TV and all I can do is shake my head; then I change the channel. But what good is shaking my head, if all I'll ever do is change the channel?

I wrote down a statement on a post-it one day last semester that read "Mediocrity is never an option when you have the Creator of the universe living inside of you." I stuck the note inside my closest so I would see it every now and then. It's still fresh in my mind. I have absolutely no desire to live a "normal" life. And don't get me wrong, some people are completely content with their jobs and lives and I'm not saying their is anything wrong with that. It's great, as long as it's what you should be doing.

I always wonder, and I'm being completely honest, if I'll find the job that fits me perfectly. I can't imagine what it would even look like. In reality, I may never find a job that fits me to a "T", but if my job energizes me to continue, and to "be the change [I] wish to see in the world" as Gandhi put it, then I'll put up with any amount of displeasure I may experience.

Several people have asked me over the past few years, and I'm going to assume this question is written in a book somewhere because it's used often, "If you could not fail, what would you attempt?" Often I do not have a response, because there is this overwhelming desire that I have to be great. A passion to see the world, and the many faces that make up this globe of diversity. Not to change a person's circumstance, but to somehow give them hope no matter their circumstance. Let me say, I am nothing without Christ, but with Him there's nothing I cannot do. So, what do I do? Day in and day out. In the mundane, in the busyness, in the routine, in the chaos.... What moves me? And as I travel on this journey, what does He move me to do?

Most of you have heard the statistic that most people only use about 10% of their brains. (No, I don't know where it came from.) And this could very well be just another useless statistic that means nothing......but how many of us really feel challenged each and every day? Even just some days? There are days when I feel I am extremely busy, with a mountain of things to accomplish but does it challenge me to the core of who I am? Does it challenge me to be great (through Christ's strength)?

I myself am fearful of the unknown. I avoid the possibility of failure if at all possible. I tend to shy away from tasks that seem impossible though I'm burning inside to see what it would be like to even attempt such feats. Failure is inevitable, so why should it matter if we could fall flat on our faces? What holds us back? And why do we allow it? I remember as a kid I would climb the tallest trees I could find, if I could get to the first branch. Ironically, I am now afraid of heights. I get to the first branch, maybe the second on a good day and that's enough for me. Life hurts after a fall, but if we could only maintain our adventurous side that doesn't mind taking risks, even if it is just being naive.

I'm not challenging anyone to climb a Redwood(unless your heart so desires), but let's get going! :)

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light,not our darkness that most frightens us.We ask ourselves.Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine; we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear,our presence automatically liberates others.”
- Marianne Williamson